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www.ajollyhaven.blogspot.com
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abt love
yearning for a perfect relationship-
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
i thought i was the only one, until i read a friend's blog. she's having a mini-tiff with her boyfriend whom she love to the max. apparently, they were having a nice talk about their near future, and things got a little out of hand. HE thinks they shouldn't meet up too often lest they get bored of each other. SHE, however, thinks that meeting up often WILL NOT bore her. and SHE questioned man's view towards love, and how good would it be if he changed his views. their relationship would be PERFECT. HER problem was my problem months ago. i used to think how bad my relationship was. full of arguements, and our views on things seemed so different. i imagine alot. i wonder alot. i question alot. i used to think, "how good would it be if he knows what i'm thinking", or "how nice if he agrees with whatever i'm saying", or "it would be great if we both have the same goal and vision in life" or "how nice if we can be together forever and ever"...... until someone enlightened me. this someone told me, you and him are born and bred in 2 totally different environment. your parents taught you this is right, that is wrong. his parents may have taught him the other way round. different values. period. so when the two of you get together, conflicts are bound to occur. it's not that he dislike your views, or he's out to get whatever you're saying. but the thinkings are instilled in him and yourself already. no point fighting over it. since he is 'so different from you', most girls will say "i must change him!!!" if he likes soccer and is always stucked to the tv, girls may say "i must change ths stupid habit of his!". if he dislike marriage, girls will say "i must change his opinion abt marriage". the list goes on.... however, that someone taught me, "don't try to change another person. the effort u put in may be futile. but u can CHANGE YOURSELF." i used to find so many faults in him. i wanted to change him. and everytime i realised he didn't, i'd flare up. but i didn't know, all these actually overshadowed my own flaws. only after i talked to that someone, i was taught to take out a few moments everyday to think abt myself. my thoughts. my opinions. my view towards life. love. family. and realised dozens and tonnes of shortcomings. realisation is the first step. changing is the second. i can't pinpoint exactly how i changed myself. i just did. i did it slowly. he saw the change in me, and amazingly, he started to change too.. the result? our relationship is getting better. :) i won't yearn for perfection anymore. because nobody has the defination of PERFECT. or maybe PERFECTION does not even exist! i just want to enjoy what i have now :) PS: suppressing your own feelings and by keeping quiet is NOT changing yourself. you have to be true and accept ur own feeling, views and values before you realise what's wrong, start reflecting and from there, you change.... ♥ Blogging in A Jolly Haven @ 7:10 am
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Audrey Ng.
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